When you find yourself in a verbal conflict with someone, especially a loved one, it’s often for the best if you can remain as silent as possible. It takes immense self-control, but the situation will likely cool off much more quickly if you can restrain yourself. While the patience to refrain from jumping right into the argument isn’t natural to everyone, knowing the power of keeping your lips tightly sealed will put you on the path towards mastering this useful skill for future use. If you aren’t quite convinced, you should consider the following key points.
First and foremost, the saying that “cooler heads will prevail” holds a lot of water. The best of the benefits of silence in conflict lies solely on the fact that it’s sure to end much sooner if you can keep your calm. If you get upset as well, whatever the fight is based on will only spiral even further out of control. After all, you don’t reach for something flammable if you want to put out a fire. Many times, the only worthwhile counter measure to something is its opposite. When you have someone screaming in your face, taking it on without adding more of the same will serve you well.
Secondly, a lot of verbal conflict stems largely from miscommunication. That goes especially for closer relationships. If someone feels as if they aren’t being heard or understood, their eventual breaking point is often quite explosive. Many people struggle to express issues at the moment, opting instead to let them build up under the surface. You can be sure that if someone is expressing themselves in a heated manner, whatever they’re saying is obviously immensely important to them. If you let yourself get combative and argue back, it will only exacerbate the matter and make the other party feel even more unappreciated and unheard.
Of course, remaining silent in conflict also serves the dual purpose of protecting yourself from saying something cruel that you don’t really mean and also allowing you to listen to what’s being said in order to either offer a helpful solution or some much-needed empathy. If your emotions take charge, it’s very likely that you’ll end up saying something you wish you hadn’t. The key to handling emotions is learning actually what they are, and what purpose they serve in your body. Try meditating or attending a retreat as it can greatly help you in remaining calm and silent in day to day situations. In a retreat lead by Lola Jones of California, you get to be silent for full five days, which is a bliss in today’s fast paced world.
It’s somewhat of a natural defense mechanism to hit someone where it hurts when cornered, even if it’s only verbal. When you’re actually listening, you’ll also be able to be more supportive and make sure things don’t become so heated again in the future.
As you can see, there are some immensely useful benefits to saying silently in the midst of conflict. You will be able to get through the altercation much quicker, make sure the other person feels you do appreciate them, and also keep yourself from saying anything hurtful if you can keep your cool. If you find that you struggle in these situations, you can always consider studying up on anger management and relaxation techniques. With the right mindset, just about anyone can learn to restrain themselves in the midst of any argument, and the eventual outcome will always be all the better for it.